your thong is hanging out like whoa
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
