btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
