i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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