i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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