Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
