There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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