what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Randomize
