Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
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