Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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