i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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