This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
