so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Moan for me like Helen Keller
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
