oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
