dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
