I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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