you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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