i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
