just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
