I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
