I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
