I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
