I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
