He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
