the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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