Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
