Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
