My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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