They should really pass out barf bags in church
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
