I just made out with a guy for $7.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
