His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
