I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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