Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
