I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
