He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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