fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
