I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He? As in you personified your dick?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
