IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
