ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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