i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
