But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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