put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
