Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
