WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
