I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
