I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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