I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
