is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
