yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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