scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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