im holly from the hills drunk
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
