paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
