I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
