We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
