You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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